I AM SORRY TO SAY......I LIED..... YOU REALLY DO LOOK YOUR AGE!

A few days ago I ran into an old friend.  Okay friend is a loose term.....I ran into someone I had not seen in 25 years.  The woman called my name out and ran to me obviously excited.  I returned the greeting almost as enthusiastically the whole time thinking....who are you?  There was that initial moment of, oh you look vaguely like someone I once knew, somewhere deep inside beneath the wrinkles and short cropped hair.  While my brain was frantically processing through the files of my memory to find a match of some former acquaintance, I blurted out "Oh, you look just the same."  Really....is that the best thing I could think of to say.     She insisted I looked the same as well and we chatted superficially for a few minutes all the time I was trying to remember who this was with the bad haircut.  Suddenly it hit me.  I stood aghast!  No she did not look the same.  She looked frumpy and middle-aged.  As I walked away I thought to myself.  Why do we as humans do that?  None of us look the same.

 It seems like that is the first thing I always say when I have not seen someone for a long time.  "You look the same."  The truth is.....I am sorry to say it.....but......... you do not.  You look your age.  Some of you look a little better and some of you look a lot worse.  You are not 18 and it is near impossible to fool Mother Nature.  Find a mirror and accept the fact.  When I put on my make-up, those rare occasions trying to lure the world into thinking I am still young and beautiful ....I am forced to see my face close-up.  And, yes mother nature is winning this battle...I do not look the same.  I am 51.....and....I look 51.... and the mirror proves every year, month, day and minute of that.

 I see movie stars and famous people trying to beat the clock.....it is not working you are just spending a lot of money and you are beginning to scare us common people. (I am sorry Barbara Streisand, I love your music, abhor your politics, and think you look like an overly browned marshmallow.)  I went to my Dermatologist and he suggested he could take away my laugh lines with a few injections of Botox...really....I thought, have you seen your handiwork of puffy faced Botox victims wandering around looking more like Star Trek life forms than human beings?  Not to point fingers here like say at Dolly Parton, (who are you and will you please send us back the real Dolly we loved and laughed with...not at!),  or Kate Gosselin....(We liked you much better as just an angry mother of 8 then as the Star Wars poster child!)  And for the record I have earned every laugh line on my face....and some were not from laughing either.  No thanks to all you Dermatologist just itching to create another life form....I will keep my old face and my old body so my children and grandchildren will be able to recognize me past...oh I don't know...next week......and don't worry Meg Ryan you look the same....you have not changed a bit!!!  (Okay a little bit...okay well maybe a lot....okay maybe you are looking more like the evil smiling clown doll from poltergeist than you wanted but hey....I still love your movies and think you are talented beyond most Hollywood actresses.)